Why I need to write
Recently, I saw a friend using Mathematica for his linear algebra course. He said that since so many people who have licenses this year are graduating next year, I would be able to obtain a license next year, too. We both knew that Mathematica was expensive. I immediately remembered reading about Jupyter. For some reason, I thought about doing some research and writing a comparison in the context of technology in education.
I see mental health problems in my own life and that of my peers. I’ve written about how Facebook was harmful to me, but I feel that my writing did not do my experience justice. Sometimes I consider documenting my victories and failures in a way that others might benefit.
I’m interested in history because it is necessary for understanding present humanity and making decisions about the future. Reading about history is usually fun. The idea of actively participating in history through writing is alluring and somewhat glorious. Yet, writing a ten-page history paper sounds impossible to me, and the initial vision and excitement succumbs to fear and procrastination. The paper is due in less than a week, and I have nothing more than a short collection of facts and other historians’ assertions.
I am a dreamer and thinker, more so than a doer. I spend more time resting and thinking about what could happen than making those things happen. I hope I could act on my ideas to improve the world or write ideas that are interesting and helpful to others.
I used to dream about creating a good technology company. No, engineering gets messy too quickly—actually, immediately; I dream to be a scientist that discovers something revolutionary. Of course, the chance of that happening is very small. (I want to dream big dreams while I can.) In tune with fantastical dreams, on rare occasion, dreams of being a writer seep like bubbles from the depths of my mind. Dreams of living alone in nature like Thoreau, doing nothing but working for sustenance and writing.
As someone whose academic weakness is in writing, I am writing this to remind and motivate myself to press harder into my weakness in the hopes that I will get better.